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Friday, April 28, 2006
Big, Small... and Everything In Between
 it's friday once again and as my dear friend Tee mentioned, it's payday friday! but before i spend all of my husband's hard-earned cash, i'll give you my SPF as commanded by Kristine!for the first photo, i give you something BIG. that's my sister in front of me and i'm glad that she's in vancouver now or else... and though it's a fact that she's, well, uhm, bigger than me, that's not why i chose this photo. behind us is the Big Buddha in Lantau Island, HK and if that's not big enough for you, i don't know what is.  the 2nd photo is for something small. in this photo, my daughter seems to be pointing at something... but she's not. she's actually pretending to hold the sun with her fingers. is that small enough?  and last but not the least, this is another photo of my daughter, showing only half of her face. i like this photo of her but, at the same time, it looks like she's sad about something. but photos only show half of the story... she wasn't sad, just hungry and impatient for food.  so, did i fulfill this week's assignment? now, i'm off... there's some merchandise out there with my name on it! -prescribed by-  @5:42 PM -25 came for therapy session-
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Insert Title Here
*mind went blank so i couldn't come up with a decent title for this post.
*uber-glad kellie left the show. it was about time. and i'm glad the judges ate their words regarding kat! i wanted to slap randy silly for his nasty comment! pffffftt!!! (if you don't watch american idol, then you might not have a clue about what i'm talking about) *got paid today! did i go on a shopping spree? nope. when you're married and you're a mother and your last name is not hilton, then a shopping spree is something like a unicorn or a mermaid. all fantasy. *got to see where my husband works when i had to pick up my paycheck. it was eerily mute. it was almost like a library. it's the kind of place that tempts you to scream your head off just to shock people. *my eyes are strained and tired from my work. can't stay in front of the PC for long, nor watch TV or read a book. in the end, i downloaded an audiobook of Dante's Inferno read by John Cleese just so i have some form of entertainment. it's a challenge to visualize... best to listen to it when everybody's asleep and the lights are off. *weather here sucks. it's humid and hot and spitting rain... not even a decent downpour. times like these, i'd rather stay indoors... but, darn it, someone has to pick my daughter up from school. and no, i don't have a car. we take the bus, like most people here in HK... and that means walking is involved. uphill. *hubby's planning to return to work tomorrow. wish he could stay home one more day, then we can have a long weekend. may 1st is a holiday and i'm looking forward to just goofing off. no work... just laundry. -prescribed by- @11:41 PM -1 came for therapy session-
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Bits and Pieces
* the past couple of days had been peaceful. with my work out of the way and with my husband's condition improving daily, i've allowed myself some time to just indulge in mindless frivolity. it's not exactly a vacation trip to a beach resort... but it will do for now.
* as i've mentioned, robert's bell's palsy is somewhat going away. his smile has returned, although his face is still a bit lopsided when he laughs. and yes, we've been laughing a lot these past few days. it's free... and it heals. * one of the reasons we were laughing was the movie Kinky Boots. it's a movie based on a true story about a man trying to save his family business, which makes brown leather shoes. later on, he finds inspiration in lola, a drag queen he attempted to save from some lecherous men. chiwetel ejiofor was fabulous being lola. my favorite line: "don't tell me i've inspired something in burgundy!" * i'm looking forward to some movies showing next month here in HK. there's silent hill... i've played that game in playstation with my sister and thoroughly enjoyed screaming, scaring the bejeezus out of our husbands as they thought we were in some kind of attack or something. there's also x-men 3... i've missed hugh. it's been awhile since i've seen him on the big screen, and although wolverine is not my favorite look on him, i'll take it.*drool* * i've been numbing myself with a marathon of laguna beach. why, you ask. i just wanted to watch something that is mildly entertaining and won't keep me on the edge of my seat. you know how this other shows like Lost and 24 keeps you biting your nails and makes you somewhat crazy, wondering what's next? well, i wanted to just chill and laguna beach seems to have that effect on me. and yes, it makes me grateful that i'm not going out with a teenage boy anymore. * am currently looking forward to the weekend. aren't you? -prescribed by- @1:00 PM -7 came for therapy session-
Friday, April 21, 2006
Initially Mine
 quite enjoyed this week's SPF. the assignment is to take photos of stuff representing our initials. hubby was happy to lend a helping hand, pointing out everything that started with C, E and T.the first picture is of a Crossing, one of the busiest here in hong kong, located in causeway bay. during peak hours, you're usually bumping into each other and, yes... it freaks me out a little  next is Eggs... before i came to hong kong, i've only used eggs with white shells. when i got here, the brown ones were more abundant. i actually had to research their difference... and found out that eggs are eggs... no matter what the color.  for the last photo, i give you the Aberdeen Tunnel, which links Happy Valley and Wong Chuk Hang where i currently reside. i go through this tunnel five times a week to pick up my daughter from school. i do most of my musings in the few minutes i'm in there... i don't know why.  and there you have it. hope you enjoyed the photos... p.s. i wanted to post something that started with an X but there's a shortage of x-rays or xylophones in my travels today. my husband suggested an x-rated one... but quickly nixed that idea.;) -prescribed by- @7:26 PM -32 came for therapy session-
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Smile, (Though My Heart Is Aching)
dammit! i miss his smile. with bell's palsy, only one side of his face is normal while the other is drooping. although his condition sometimes provide for good comedic relief, my heart still aches not to see his smile everyday.
when someone you deeply love smiles at you, you feel that smile tugging at your heart. and, yes, he may be smiling and all... his face is just lopsided, but it's different. hard to explain... let's just say that i'm not at my happiest now. i'm praying that it goes away soon. we may laugh about how he resembles popeye or that all he needs now is a parrot and an eyepatch and he can join the cast of Pirates of the Carribean... but wouldn't your heart break as well when you see the person you love the most laugh out loud but still look like he's carrying the deepest sorrow in the world? -prescribed by- @7:35 PM -9 came for therapy session-
Monday, April 17, 2006
Papercut
the pain sits heavily in my bosom. a flash of dark memory in my head and i gasp for air. i clutch at my chest, feeling the pain trying to claw its way out of me. visions of regret and of breaking apart floods my mind and i wail and i cry because it is too much. i flail and i flail and i wring my hands and i flail and i rock back and forth and i flail... i flail and i bang my fists against the walls... and i gather myself into a ball on the floor, crying, flailing, falling. after a while, i realize that the pain has escaped my chest and has seeped its way through my veins, flowing through my blood leaving me cold. worse, i become numb... dulled senses... and what seems like the end is only the calm before the storm. a flash, a glint of steel and i'm cut. my eyes widen in quiet shock as i watch my blood trickle away, hoping that the pain trickles with it. and as i bleed, i realize the pain lingers, the pain is still inside and now i see... drip, drip, drip... that the pain has overcome me. i am my pain... drip, drip, drip... and i slip away.
author's note: this post no way indicates that i am suicidal or even considering cutting myself. this is just a darkness in me that i needed to set free. -prescribed by- @7:02 PM -7 came for therapy session-
Friday, April 14, 2006
SPF - Pre Easter
 it's been a while since i did Stuff Portrait Friday. i actually miss the fun of going from blog to blog, checking out everybody's SPF... here's my chance to get back on the game!*My Peeps: Friends outside of the blog world  all the peeps you see here are actually from my hubby's office. i thought i would have a hard time making friends here in HK... but coming from the same country, we naturally bonded. *Something Fuzzy  my slippers... what more can i say?*Something I Want to Dye/Die  molds! i want them to die and never exist in my home. i'm allergic to it and i have nightmares of it taking over me!well, that's it. i'll be making my way to kristine's now and visit the other SPF-ers. have a wonderful easter weekend! -prescribed by- @6:17 PM -11 came for therapy session-
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Let The Rain Fall
i feel that my life right now is on the brink of falling. it's like i'm juggling and i'm at that moment when i realize that i won't be able to catch the ball. i could sense doom but there's a small chance that a miracle could still happen.
i am at a disarray. i'm juggling my freelance work along with my household responsibilities. anya is on an easter holiday till the 20th, i naturally thought that it'll be less hectic around here. it's not. and, as if there wasn't enough chaos in my life right now, robert's bell's palsy came back. the first time he had it, his doctor told him that his stress and overworked body attributed to this condition. after that, robert tried to de-stress but the man is a workaholic of the worst kind. he can't relax and even on weekends, work seeps to his mind, depriving him of any enjoyment. for the past couple of months, i saw him slowly self-destruct. i couldn't get him to relax and stay still. now, he's suffering the consequences. i don't know what i can do anymore... i'm at a loss when it comes to him and his work. so, i'm bracing myself. there's a part of me screaming inside to try and catch that ball eventhough i can already feel the failure. i'm holding on to my faith so strongly 'coz it's the only thing giving me hope right now. let the rain fall and drown me. let the ball drop... my faith always saves me. there's a chance that i MIGHT just make it, i MIGHT just catch that ball. -prescribed by- @6:11 PM -4 came for therapy session-
Monday, April 10, 2006
Bad Luck Mama
last week started off and ended off. the stars just weren't aligned for me. with a crappy week, i looked forward to a "lunch with the girls" last saturday... maybe a short break from domesticity and an afternoon of gossiping and good food would lift my spirits up.
alas, i had lady bad luck by my side throughout the day. the lunch wasn't so bad. we had some laughs and great food. it wasn't after the lunch that it started... my string of bad luck. by mid-afternoon, we decided to part ways. we had lunch at a friend's apartment in Ap Lei Chau, which is a small island a stone's throw away from the main HK Island. one of the ways to get off from ALC is by "sampan", which is a small motorized boat... think modern chinese junk boat minus the junk. anyways, as we were getting off, i did a "cinderella" and accidentally slipped off my shoe. i had on something like this only with one-inch heels. it ALMOST fell down to the water (ugh!) if it hadn't been squelched between the "sampan" and the mini-port where i was hopping on one foot. so, that didn't sound too bad. i took it all in stride... laughed... and off i went with two of my friends to Central. i decided to tag along 'coz they told me about this secondhand bookstore called Flow.... and i'm a sucker for books, so off we went. felt like xmas morning when we got there... had to practice self-restraint, bought only two books and vowed to be back soon. after that, we did some more walking around LKF/Soho and if you've been there, you'd notice the sloping streets and somewhat cobbled pathways. challenging to traverse if you're wearing hills. time for bad luck no. 2. one minute, i was standing, the next i was down on my arse. i rarely have spills and falls but when they happen, they're always spectacular. i remember stepping down, then i twisted my right ankle, lost my balance and thought to myself, "shit. i'm falling." i landed on my bum and it hurt like hell for a moment. i brushed it off like nothing happened but deep inside, i was thinking maybe i should've stayed in bed instead. later on, we met up with my husband and daughter and had dinner with them. walked around a bit and salivated over some earrings being sold just on the sidewalk, then decided to have some coffee before heading home. i was starting to hurt a little bit but i didn't take notice as we read some magazines and laughed about some stuff. comes in three's, right? no. 3 mishap happened there at the coffee place when i accidentally spilled my friend's hot tea all over the table. we all joked that nothing's bound to happen since that's my third boo-boo... but i was inwardly cringing. damn. finally, we made our way home and i was officially in pain. my right leg was throbbing and i realized that i scratched my right wrist when i fell. by the time i made it to bed, i was so sore, i couldn't move without yelping in pain. it was that bad. the next day, my right foot was swollen and it was painful to just bend my right leg. i stayed in bed the whole day but i was so uncomfortable, i didn't enjoy it much. now, it's monday morning here on my side of the world and another dark cloud is on the horizon. later on that. i'm less sore but more troubled. when it rains in my life, it doesn't only pour... it's a fucking deluge. -prescribed by- @10:40 AM -6 came for therapy session-
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Oh, No... You Di-N't!!!
omg... how could you guys NOT vote for Mandisa??? you let Bucky stay for another week and he wasn't even in the bottom three?!! oh, c'mon!!!!!!!!
******* my sister and her husband is in hawaii right now and will fly to washington d.c. later today. at first, i was envious. i, TOO, want a vacation. but it just so happens that it's raining in oahu, where they're staying, and on the one day that the sun shone, there was some kind of toxic spill so they were not allowed on the beach 'coz the bacteria level was lethal. am i still jealous? a little. hawaii still sounds better than hong kong right now. ****** who knew you could fart in your sleep? i was peacefully reading last night and robert was sound asleep by my side. suddenly, this awful scent crept up my nose and realized that it smelled like fart. there were only two people in the room and i surely would've known if i passed gas. so, i nudged my husband and told him he farted. he opened his eyes, mumbled something and fell back to sleep. a few minutes later, he farted again. the silent fart. i wanted to throw the book i was reading at him. the things i will endure for love... -prescribed by- @8:48 PM -12 came for therapy session-
Monday, April 03, 2006
Could Only Be Monday
i woke up... wrong... this morning. it's not the same as waking up on the wrong side of the bed. i just felt... off.
ended up crying in my husband's arms when he came home to have lunch with me... and i couldn't explain why. too much emotion, too many thoughts inside. i can't pinpoint just one reason... by midday, i went numb. went on my daily tasks without really taking it in... then, as the sun was setting, i felt safe... settled. it was very peculiar... to go through a whole range of emotions in a matter of hours. my husband was a hero in all these... he could've let me be or he could've topped my bad day with his, but he didn't. he nursed my wounds, he held me and comforted me. he put me first today... and i find myself falling in love with him some more. by nighttime, i felt smitten, alive. he knew what i needed and he willingly offered it to me without me having to ask for it. call me certifiable... i won't disagree. from being forlorn this morning to almost ecstatic by midnight, could only be madness. madness. mad. crazy. madly. madly in love. crazy in love. cheesy... but says it all. love does conquer all... even monday mornings. |
 
i'm a twenty-something dreamer and wannabe writer. currently living in Hong Kong
with the husband, the daughter and the dog.
for more illuminating tidbits about me, click here! if you want to read some of my deepest, darkest thoughts, click here! *xtessa feels  !*
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