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Friday, July 07, 2006
Thank You and Good Night
farewell. fare well. such a bittersweet word meaning both of hope and a parting of ways. farewell. i hope your journey bodes well. i hope your life turns out beautifully. i hope nothing ill comes your way. farewell. so long. this is where we say goodbye.
this is where i say goodbye. over and over, i have said that i live to write. i have been grateful that blogging has given me an outlet, another way of expressing my writing. i finally realized that by blogging, i have given myself an excuse. my blog became my scapegoat. see, when i say that i live to write, i am not telling you the whole truth. that is, i live to write stories. for years, i have put off creating stories. the reasons behind that, i shall not elaborate. it's not the point anymore. i believe that i am ready to go on that journey again, to create, to imagine, to bring life to the worlds and the characters swirling inside my head. this is where my focus should be. i kept putting it off, telling myself that i have my blog anyways. i still have an outlet, i don't need to start on that novel just yet. you know when you have chicken pox and you itch and your mom tells you not to scratch 'coz it's gonna scar but you can't CANNOT scratch? lately for me, it felt like that. there's that feeling, that tiny voice in my head i keep ignoring then it screams at me 'coz it can't be ignored anymore. i need to move on. the friends i've made here, hopefully, would like to remain as my friends. there's a few of you whom i know that if we could've met face to face, we would've become fast friends... kindred spirits. this is the end of this blog but, fingers-crossed, not the friendships. so, i bid you... farewell. thank you for the support, the encouragements, the laughter, the compassion, the friendships. thank you and good night. -prescribed by-  @3:38 AM
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
So I Did A Rain Dance
from this...  to this!  from this...  to this! 
so, if anyone asks, i'll be here doing some more rain dancing. -prescribed by- @6:15 PM -10 came for therapy session-
Monday, June 26, 2006
Hot Is What I Am
 it was one of the hottest days in the history of mankind... well, not really... but it sure felt like it. the girls and i picked out the wrong day to have a little get-together... venturing out that day was probably one of the things we least wanted to do.still, the lunch was a pleasant event. we had some paella and some chocolate-dipped strawberries, a few bottles of wine (though, as usual, i just had my glass of coca-cola), sangria... and, later on, some chocolate pudding which vanished within minutes of being served. good conversation was had by all, as well as laugh-out-loud anecdotes... even some totally gross recounts of enema, hemorrhoids and seeing your boss in his tidey-whities. girl talk, uncensored. later that afternoon, we dragged our butts to another friend's flat to see her newborn baby. seeing the little cherub kind of reminded me of that bliss you feel when you hold a baby in your arms... but then again, i remember that the labor doesn't really begin till you give birth, so, i nipped that longing in the bud. as of the moment, one is enough.  more food was had by all... blueberry cheesecake, brownies and macadamia nut ice cream... i was surprised that i still had some space in my tummy after the smorgasbord we had earlier.finally, we reluctantly ventured out into the heat once again... some, to head on home, some, to make the most out of the weekend. as for me, i had no more strength. i was surprisingly exhausted that i was yawning all throughout dinner with my family. now, it's a new whole week and the heat has not relented. common sense has overruled my fashion sense... i don't care if i'm not svelte enough to wear tanks and shorts. with weather like this...  ...i'm too hot to even be bothered.-prescribed by- @4:50 PM -12 came for therapy session-
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Absent
i wish i had a decent excuse for not blogging. i wish i could say that i've been ultra busy with housework, or i flew to paris for a mini-break... no. i haven't been blogging all because of...
... neopets. nobody told me it was THAT addicting. some may not get the point... but once it sucks you in... you're in for quite a while. just ask monty. so, if you're interested or curious, just click here. hee hee. also, a matter of the utmost importance: my dad's having his eye operation tomorrow. please pray for his speedy recovery. he loves to read and his a huge Robert Ludlum fan. eversince his eye problems, he hasn't read any books. my sister's flew back home to be with my parents and she has one of Ludlum's latest thriller... waiting for my dad. let's hope that by next week, he'll be reading it to his heart's delight. -prescribed by- @9:43 PM -5 came for therapy session-
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Hate and Self-Loathing
why does it take a long time to get over past hurts and heartbreak? why can't my mind and heart work as one? i am a smart girl. i know in my mind that letting go of my pain is the solution, yet my heart seems reluctant to release all its dark shadows.
i wish i could be the person God intended me to be. looking at myself in the mirror, i know i could be so much more. sometimes, i feel that my dreams are too big that my body couldn't contain it... like my skin is the prison holding me back... and if i could just set myself free... oh, beautiful flight! but for right now, i need my heart to listen to my head. the pain and rejection given to me by others does not define me. only the person looking back at me in the mirror can say and know who i really am. learn that, heart. know that. |
 
i'm a twenty-something dreamer and wannabe writer. currently living in Hong Kong
with the husband, the daughter and the dog.
for more illuminating tidbits about me, click here! if you want to read some of my deepest, darkest thoughts, click here! *xtessa feels  !*
feel like sending me a gift? here are some ideas!   Blogroll Me!!! 
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