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Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Hiatus
american idol was a yawnfest this week, isn't it? to think they were supposed to sing songs from the last six years and most of them picked songs that weren't known to most of its viewers. and that last minute damage control ryan seacrest did with chris daughtry just left me a sour taste in my mouth.
guess this week's vote will depend on their popularity and not their performance. yawn. -------------------------- i've been having some eyelid twitching for the past few days now and i just thought that i was straining my eyes with the computer or excessive reading... i looked it up at WebMD 'coz it's a bit bothersome now... here's what i found out: Eyelid twitching is often caused by stress or fatigue and usually stops on its own in a short time or improves with rest or reduced stress. Twitches are not a cause for concern unless they persist or occur with other symptoms that suggest nerve problems.a nice vacation in a beach resort feels good right about now... -------------------------- my dad had a check-up today. the doctor said that he needed to lower his blood sugar to 140 before he can have the eye operation to remove the cataracts. he's now at 180. my sister told him to avoid drinking coca-cola and powdered juice drinks. all he should drink was water. he complained that water taste bland. so, he'd rather drink Tang. my sister told him he shouldn't 'coz it's full of sugar. know what he said? "it says 'no sugar needed' on the label! so, it means it has no sugar! right?" my dad... the doctor... years of medical schooling and training... was the hospital director when i was in high school... dear, Lord. -------------------------- with the eye twitching and my work, i'm taking a hiatus on blogging. i will miss you all and hope i'll be back soon! now, head on to Adventures In Cyberia and check out the latest story on Tee and Sandy! -prescribed by-  @9:02 PM -7 came for therapy session-
Monday, March 27, 2006
Things! I Order You: LOOK UP!!!
hate the start of this week. was supposed to have a fun time this weekend with friends but it just wasn't in the cards.
first, i had this weird knot in my stomach... like it was all tense and clenched. it got worse on saturday night and i kept having acid reflux. bacon going up your throat DOES NOT taste good. sunday VERY EARLY morning, i started having cramps... the kind that women get once a month. so, my tummy's already beat from too much acidity or something, now, dysmenorrhea joins in on the fun. decided to make myself feel better by eating some pastry roll... bad idea. a third kind of tummy ache happened... the kind that makes you go to the bathroom and stink it up like nobody's business. today... i'm beat and the apartment is in somewhat of a disarray. darcy's shedding like hell so have been vacuuming every 10 minutes. laundry's piling up and whatever's clean has not been ironed whatsoever ('coz somebody promised to do them so i can rest but still HAS NOT done it... and yes, i do mean you, robert!) and i haven't changed the bedsheets in quite a while now. so, i'm keeping my fingers and toes and, whatever else i can, crossed, hoping that things will start to look up for me somehow. it's been a crappy year so far... bah! -prescribed by- @8:43 PM -6 came for therapy session-
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Take A Trip Down Cyberia
hey, everyone... it's been a long time but won't you please visit the little town of Cyberia and check out the latest story on Marie!
 next week, i'll be posting the latest developments in Tee's and Sandy's college life!  enjoy!-prescribed by- @3:31 PM -0 came for therapy session-
Friday, March 24, 2006
More
i hate getting stuck with the household chores 'coz, dammit, i AM more than a housewife. oh, how i DETEST that word... HOUSEWIFE. just a notch higher than housemaid... only you don't get paid and you don't have day-offs.
dammit, there's more to me than being a housewife. but how can i be more than what i am right now if i HAVE to do the dishes, do the laundry, iron, vaccuum! FUCK! i barely have time for myself... how the fuck can i say that i'm a writer when i don't have the time to write?!! if people around me could just acknowledge that I AM NOT JUST A HOUSEWIFE, i wouldn't mind so much... but it's all i ever do these days... and i'm not being validated anyways. a thank you once in a while just doesn't cut it for me. i need MORE. i want MORE. -prescribed by- @2:03 PM -7 came for therapy session-
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Latest Pt. 2
finally saw Rent last night. surprisingly interesting. wouldn't mind watching it again. i am not a big fan of rosario dawson but actually liked her as mimi.
----------------------------- am having migraines for two days straight now. no thanks to the people drilling in our building. darn them... just when i'm sleeping soundly! ----------------------------- had a weird dream last night. hugh grant was my boyfriend. like my husband said, wrong hugh. would have preferred hugh jackman... heniweys, in the dream, we were in a library and trying to find a, erm, corner we can "canoodle". don't know how to interpret that one... ------------------------------ america, stop voting for chicken little. please. -prescribed by- @8:04 PM -6 came for therapy session-
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Latest
it's been confirmed that my dad has cataracts on both of his eyes. he will need surgery and, hopefully, he can have it within the year. here's hoping for the best...
------------------------------- i'd still be wallowing in sadness, in self-pity, in bitterness if it weren't for my husband. he has been my rock in all these... i might not be materially-blessed but i can definitely say that i am lucky when it comes to love. ------------------------------- blogging might take a backseat for a while. i have some freelance work once again... great timing... i can, at least, send some money to my parents... for groceries and stuff... one thing off their minds. ------------------------------- might go to a baby shower this weekend. might take my mind off my problems. might just be what the doctor ordered. ------------------------------- some people have all the luck. is all i'm saying. -prescribed by- @9:17 PM -4 came for therapy session-
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
A Storm Ahead
i hate being helpless. any other emotion, i can handle but helplessness, i detest. i compare it to drowning, where you swim and struggle but the shore never gets any nearer and no one can hear your cries for help.
last night, i received some news that left me feeling helpless, feeling incapacitated. my father developed diabetes some years ago and now, one of its many complications is showing its ugly head. his vision is somewhat deteriorating and the doctor suspects that he may have cataracts. if left untreated, he could easily go blind. my parents are struggling to keep afloat. they barely make ends meet and they could not afford the treatments needed. all i want to do now is help my father. he has supported us four siblings and now, it's our turn to help him. a few days ago, i was bitter and angry because i don't have enough funds to make our lives comfortable. now, it all seems unimportant. suddenly, i realize i don't need new clothes, new shoes. it seems stupid to feel upset for missing my favorite show on TV, or that i'm not able to buy the latest video game that i've been wishing for so long. all i want right now is to get my father through this. and i am helpless because i have very little to give him. and to compare it to all that he has given me... it just isn't enough. as a child, you take your parents for granted. you think that they are always going to be around. in the back of your mind, you know it's not true but it doesn't stop you from thinking that they will always be there. now, i am faced with how vulnerable, how mortal my father is and it scares me. i am helpless. can someone help me to shore? -prescribed by- @11:52 PM -11 came for therapy session-
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Xtessa's Plea
do not offer up what you cannot willingly give. you never know how the smallest of your promises may mean the world to me. i am a desperate woman grasping for whatever you throw my way and if you take away what little is given to me, what else could i hold in my possession? i am a woman fast becoming undone and the tiniest prick of the needle could break me apart. be careful how you handle me for the heartbreak you unknowingly give to me could leave me soulless and empty. just like your words. just like your promises.
-prescribed by- @10:42 PM -7 came for therapy session-
Monday, March 13, 2006
Brrr
too effing cold to blog...
-prescribed by- @9:43 PM -3 came for therapy session-
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Not!
we were at an ATM kiosk earlier this evening and my darling daughter took advantage of the silent ambiance to embarrass her poor mother. we made our way to the queue when our conversation somehow jumped to farting.
anya: do i have a stinky fart? me: yes. you have a very stinky fart. anya: i don't think so. me: yes, you actually do have the stinkiest fart. anya: how about daddy? me: daddy comes in second, then darcy our dog. anya: how about you? me: i'm the one with the least stinkiest fart! anya: oh yeah?!! well, you have the loudest fart! thank you, anya. i think the rest of china didn't hear that... -prescribed by- @9:50 PM -17 came for therapy session-
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Eh
nothing to blog. he comes home tonight! am pooped. am sick.
bleh. -prescribed by- @8:22 PM -4 came for therapy session-
Monday, March 06, 2006
Half-Awake
 well, it's just me and anya here... robert left for a business trip and, once again, something clicks (or un-clicks) and i'm running on auto mode. i don't know what it is but whenever we're apart, we both have a hard time really focusing on our daily tasks.to make matters worse, the psycho weather here in HK has finally affected my system and i feel a cold coming my way. i'm already losing my voice and it's painful to swallow... it's quite bizarre but this is not the first time i got sick while my husband is away. like, the higher powers up there are playing a game with me and makes me feel like crap when my darling husband can't take care of me. bah. still, anya and i were able to make it to children's mass yesterday with the rest of her sunday school friends. she was so happy 'coz she was asked to take the collection during mass... she's happy when she's participating in something.  i also enjoyed watching her interact with other kids. i remember being shy when i was her age and i'd wait for other kids to approach me. she, however, didn't care that these were not the kids in her class. she still went ahead and played with them like she's known them her whole life.so now, i'm just gonna lay in bed, read my new James Patterson book and wish that it's tuesday night and that my knight has come home and would bring me chicken soup in bed. -prescribed by- @4:24 PM -7 came for therapy session-
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Reawakening
i have always enjoyed going to church at night. there's something calming and comforting about it. i believe it reminds me of christmas... my family always attended the midnight mass on christmas eve and that is always a cherished memory of mine.
last night, i attended mass with my family for ash wednesday. as soon as i entered the church, i felt at peace. the word sanctuary gained a whole new meaning for me. i forgot about all my burdens, i forgot all about the fast-paced life outside... i was simply a child talking to her Father. maybe the small number of people inside the church also had an effect on me. maybe during sunday mass when the church is full, i felt i had to scream to be heard by God. there, last night, i knew He could see me. He could hear me. then, i sensed something stirring within me... like, i felt i couldn't wait anymore. for what, i am still trying to find the answer. but i did realize that i have been asleep all this time. i am letting my life pass me by and i couldn't do that any further. maybe it was something the priest said... that we shouldn't let the lenten season be of gloom and despair. instead, it should be a chance for me to rise from the ashes and be better... be what the Lord has destined for me. someone who grabs life in a heartbeat... and never lets it pass by. |
 
i'm a twenty-something dreamer and wannabe writer. currently living in Hong Kong
with the husband, the daughter and the dog.
for more illuminating tidbits about me, click here! if you want to read some of my deepest, darkest thoughts, click here! *xtessa feels  !*
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