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Friday, September 30, 2005
SPF- Ryan's Suggestions
 it's friday once again... woohoo!!! next friday is MY BIRTHDAY!!! so anyone wanting to cheer me up, my wishlist is on the sidebar. heeheehee...heniwey, friday also means SPF, this time brought to us by Kristine's stepson, Ryan. the assignments are:  this ugly, purple couch belongs to our landlord. a lot of our furniture belongs to our landlord. we could get rid of it but we'll have to pay him extra... an extra we don't have right now. it shouldn't be in the middle of our living room. it shouldn't be anywhere in my apartment. for the love of all that is holy and true, it shouldn't have existed in the first place. my husband is the Makeshift King. if he goes on Survivor, he'd be able to build a shelter with a working kitchen and bathroom. but he's not on Survivor, he's with me... so i have to deal with his makeshift skills. these boxes are his makeshift table for our fan. we promised to buy shelves and endtables but it always has to take a backseat. so, in the meantime, something that ought to have been thrown away is now our makeshift endtable. again, this washing machine is our landlord's. we're not really sure if who broke what, its locking mechanism on the lid is cracked and could fall apart any day now. we never bothered to have it fixed since we have our laundry done by the cleaners on the next street. it's actually common here in HK since there's just no space for hanging your clothes, unless you hang it outside your window and let it absorb the HK pollution... or worse, it'll get blown away and you'll wonder where your black thong went. i don't drink beer. in fact, i don't drink any alcoholic beverage. my husband is a social drinker... would drink if he's in a gathering or a party. the heinekens were leftovers from a party two weeks ago, the Blue Ice was a dare i made. i told hubby that i'll try beer one time and see what i would be like drunk. it's been in our ref for more than a month now. gawd knows when will we crack those cans open.that's it... have a great weekend y'all! oh, and next friday is my birthday... yes, i'm hinting, especially to my brother who I KNOW reads this... ehehehehe... and the bitches from hell whom i call sisters... i'll be expecting my gifts from you in the mail. woohoo! -prescribed by-  @3:34 PM -27 came for therapy session-
Everything Burns
okay... i had a wonderful post all written in my head but it's gonna have to wait. i had a little mishap while cooking meatballs and now, a couple of my beautiful fingers are hurt. i was transferring a meatball onto a plate when it slipped from the tongs and fell back into the hot frying pan... as a result, hot, boiling oil splashed onto my fingers and little bit on my left wrist. both my right pointing finger and middle "up-yours" finger are in pain.
i can't type for long as my hand is still shaking from the pain. hopefully, it'll all be better tomorrow. but before i go, i just want to greet my brother-in-law a happy birthday... take good care of my sister. also, my good friend nicole... happy birthday, honey. glad you found your paradise. babooshki! -prescribed by- @12:57 AM -10 came for therapy session-
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Triple S
Suffer Silently with a Smile.
that was one of our "training" in catholic school. to suffer silently and pretend to the whole world that you're okay. they said that it's admirable... saintly... to be happy when life gives you shit. blessed are the suffering and all... offer it all up to the Lord. i mastered this art. i knew how to hide my pain very well. i never "burdened" my friends with all the dark thoughts in my head, but i was more than willing to listen to theirs. most of my friends come to me when they have problems or they needed someone to talk to who wouldn't be biased. i listened so well and so many times that i considered studying psychology and become a "professional listener". i woke up to the fact that everyone wanted me to hear them out but nobody offered to listen to me. but no worries... i know how to suffer silently with a smile. but like the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, i could only take so much. i could only suffer so much without having the urge to just break down and scream. this past few weeks handed me one minor problem after another, little things that are easily-solved, but problems nonetheless... and i took it all in and kept it for myself. till yesterday... when i was handed the last straw. it really was minor, but it was enough to break me down. anya lost one of her ruby earrings, one that she had since she was a baby (her first pair) and was a gift from her godparents. it wasn't her fault, she didn't even notice it was gone till dinnertime. it must have fell off somewhere... and it's gone for good. i broke down. i couldn't suffer silently anymore and my poor husband was so surprised with my reaction to something so trivial. we talked, he was confused, i was frustrated... and i was just tired. so, i took my silent suffering, sat down and looked out into the dark night, hoping that i would get to smile once again, not because i'm hiding my burdened spirit, but because someone offered to listen. -prescribed by- @5:52 PM
Monday, September 26, 2005
Auto Mode
i'm in auto-mode once again... trying not to feel as much as i'd just be overwhelmed with... i dunno, sadness is too strong a word for it... but you get the idea. i'm just trying to get on with my responsibilities till i get over this bump. hopefully, it will be soon.
it did make me miss my own siblings more... those bitches would know how to cheer me up. i'm still hoping that my sisters would get to visit me before xtne leaves for vancouver... i wouldn't know when i'll see her again once she flies off to her new life there. ahh... i'm just depressing myself now. need to snap out of it! ehehehe... *note: this was not my original post but blogger ate it up and i'm just too blah to rewrite it in it's entirety. just note that the 1st one wasn't as depressing... -prescribed by- @7:43 PM -17 came for therapy session-
Friday, September 23, 2005
SPF Time!
 it's SPF again, brought to us by the wonderful, Kristine. this week, our assignment was to take a photo of something that was perfect in the store but awful when you got it home, your mobile and your camera. here goes...this is one item i regret buying... LOL! just kidding, honey. i know you're still in mint condition... let's see in a few years if i should return you to your mother... ehehehehehehe...  seriously, this is the item i regret buying. i needed a new pair of sneakers and actually wanted something red. i felt that fashion-wise, i was too blah, so i thought a little color would spice it up. well, everytime i wear it, i feel like a clown... literally... with the giant red shoes.  this is my digital camera... may not be in league with the big-ass cameras y'all got, but it takes wonderful photos, including the one in the previous post.  last, this is my nokia 6260. its top can be twisted so that the screen is either visible on top or not, it plays my mp3s, takes pictures and movies, record sounds, i could check my email there if i figured it out one day... and a whole lotta more, including make phone calls. hehehe.   have a blessed weekend everyone!!!-prescribed by- @4:16 PM -31 came for therapy session-
This Is Me Snapping Out Of It
...because i can't stand being so down, i'm giving myself a smack to snap out of this funk. and this is what i love about blogging, i get support from you wonderful people... very therapeutic. thank you...
so, i'm re-posting one of my favorite posts from last april. it's dedicated to my soul sister, tee, who sent me an e-card that made me laugh out loud. thank you, tee. SUNRISE there is nothing like dawn... with the sun just rising, and the world around you is slowly waking up... there is still a coolness in the air left over from the night before. and for that moment, the dream of possibilities is enormous. there is none of the morning hectic, the tired afternoon and sleepy nights.  -prescribed by- @3:55 AM -7 came for therapy session-
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Bad Mood
my birthday is coming up next month. i'm hoping that it will be better compared to last year's suckfest. last year, i was all alone with no friends and no family to celebrate it with... and my husband also thought that i would understand if he extended his work hour that day 'coz he was just swamped. he came home just in time to celebrate the last three hours of my birthday. he was asleep by the last hour.
yep, it was a blast. so now, i vowed to make it more festive than the last one. so did my husband. i made sure he realized the error of his ways. but yet again, luck is not on my side. hubby and i already started making plans for my birthday, and no, i've stopped dropping hints as men are incapable of interpreting them. i was 100 percent straightforward. so what if it's not romantic but, at least, i know i won't be disappointed. well, these past few days, my asthma has been giving me some problems once again. some are minor and easily remedied, but the other night, i was wheezing like a donkey. for the first time in a long time, i was scared again. i left my old nebulizer back in the philippines planning to buy a new one here. but it's been pushed back and back and back... another thing is we don't know which hospital around here is decent enough. back home, i know which hospital has the best staff and facility... and it's easier to relay my condition 'coz they understand me. i'm sure that there's a hospital here that caters to foreigners but i bet you, the bills would be astronomical. so, instead of a new dress or shoes or dinner out, i'll be asking my husband to buy me a nebulizer for my birthday. i know that in the long run, it will benefit me, but it really sucks right now. and no, we don't have oodles of money so i can't have a dress AND a nebulizer. oh, and that's not all. i chipped my tooth the other day, and although it's a minor annoyance, i need to get it fixed for fear that i will chip it further.... oh, and it's one of my front teeth so it's not something i can hide. but getting it fixed will snowball into getting my other oral problems fixed, namely the extraction of two impacted teeth... blah, blah, blah... bottomline, money flying out of my wallet. gawd. i try not to let money rule my life. but how can you do it when every move you make costs you money? sure, the best things in life are free... but a lot of other things are not. bah. my horoscope today said that a friend or a partner might be irritable so i should be aware of it. well, so far, no one's in a bad mood here but me. -prescribed by- @5:30 PM -11 came for therapy session-
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Of Gums and Lies
anya came home today with gum in her hair. she told us that she fell asleep on the bus ride home and her gum "drooled" its way to her hair.
so, she tried her best to shampoo and conditioner it out of her hair but there are still little pieces stuck there... i really don't want to cut two inches from her hair since she's been wanting to grow it longer for some time now. later on, i got a phone call from her teacher. we talked about an upcoming PTA meeting... blah, blah, blah... then, her teacher informed me of an incident during recess. it seems anya was playing with her friends when one of them "accidentally" stuck a gum on anya's hair. the teacher proceeded to tell me that she cut a small portion of anya's hair to get rid of the gum... well, most of it. so after the phone call, i asked anya why she had to lie about the gum in her hair? was she scared that we'd get angry 'coz some kid put gum in her hair? she told us that she didn't know why she lied and that she wasn't afraid that we'd get angry... besides, her lie put the blame on her. i, then, asked her to please tell me what really happened. i asked which friend put the gum. well, according to anya, the boy was not her friend and belonged to the other primary one section. the boy wasn't even playing with anya and her friends. it seems that the kid deliberately approached anya and stuck the gum in her hair. an accident would be if the boy coughed or sneezed or laughed and his gum flew out... but no! he wasn't even near anya's group of friends and the gum came from his hands! after anya realized what happened, the boy ran off somewhere else. this, of course, pisses me off. for one, poor anya!!! second, how dare the teacher tell me that it was an accident?! that there's really no one to blame for it?!!! anya told me that the teacher did talk to the boy but didn't ask him to apologize to anya... so now, i'm writing a LETTER to her teacher and "mildly rant" about this. the least she could've done is to get the boy to apologize then NOT LIE to me. seriously, would it be wrong for me to tell anya to kick the next kid who tries to put gum in her hair?! -prescribed by- @11:58 PM -17 came for therapy session-
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Couch Potato Season
i was making a schedule of my "should watch" TV shows and i found out that i just don't have enough time. there are so many good shows coming back and some new ones that seems interesting...
first off, Supernatural scared the living crap out of me! it's first episode was a classic ghost story back in the philippines... i've watched it in movies and heard the stories countless times but it still spooked me so much... i gripped hubby's hand the whole time, he had to tell me that i could let go once it was finished! i was so scared that i refused to go into the bathroom all alone and sleep without the lamp on.... the next day, i called my sister to next, i literally gasped when i saw stephenie was back in Survivor! how cool is that?! aside from rupert, she's my all-time favorite castaway and i do hope that she stays for a long time. i don't know if she'll win this time... seems unfair to the new players... but we'll see. they're all playing nice for now... but i'll bet the backstabbing will start soon. i succumbed and watched a Lost-clone, Threshold. it was interesting to see Data not play Data... and the show would've been interesting had it come before Lost. i mean, they even hired one of the creepy guys from Lost to play, yet another creepy guy in this series, which by the way reminded my husband about the movie, Sphere. so much for originality... one of the new shows that has me gripped this season is Prison Break. not only does it have a good plotline, it also stars one of my celebrity dream guys, wentworth miller. 'nuff said. this week will be a busy one for my couch, i tell ya. i have the remote control and i'm ready. -prescribed by- @11:41 PM -12 came for therapy session-
Long Weekend
my weekend kicked off on friday when we had a little par-tay with friends. it was a nice break from monotony, from boredom, from social depravity. i love my daughter to pieces but the conversation with someone in 1st grade can only go so far. it's nice to have some "adult" conversation for a change.
 the next day was supposed to be "spring cleaning in autumn" part II. i don't know why i always get the urge to "makeover" our place during this time... however, the cleaning was postponed 'coz hubby and i got distracted with furniture-hunting. we made plans to get rid of some stuff and buy new ones that actually functions well with the rest of our furniture. but then... those are just plans and will remain plans till a miracle happens and we wind up with a lot of money. for now, all we could do is pore over catalogues and websites, and mentally choose which dresser would fit in anya's room.  sunday was the Mid-Autumn Festival here in hong kong, also known as the Mooncake Festival. this is the time of the year when the streets of hong kong are lit up with colorful lanterns. people gather in parks to watch parades and gaze into the brightest full moon of the year. too bad, it was raining but it didn't stop the people from celebrating this event.  tee wanted to know what a mooncake was so here's a picture. it's supposed to be made out of sweet-bean paste filling and in the middle is a yellow egg yolk (which represents the moon). there are a lot of varities now... ice cream mooncakes, tiramisu mooncakes... we even had a brownie fudge mooncake from Mrs. Fields, but my daughter ate all of it before i could take a picture.come monday... still a holiday here so, no office and school. i took this opportunity to sleep in and just laze around. hubby and anya went to a nearby park and played frisbee. a couple of kids from anya's school also came to the park so she had a blast playing with them. they came home and i made "pork adobo" for dinner... afterwards, we watched some TV and talked about an upcoming celebration for next month... for once, i didn't feel rushed or "obligated" to do something. and no, the apartment still hasn't been spring-cleaned. there's always next weekend. -prescribed by- @1:33 AM -20 came for therapy session-
Friday, September 16, 2005
Random And A Bit Odd
 well, it's friday once again. i'm heading out in a few minutes so this is a bit of a rushed post. anyways, this week's SPF theme is... a random one. and could i ask a favor from any of you who participated? since i'll be out and won't be able to check in on Kristine and the others who played till much later, can you please leave a comment there that i played?! heeheehee... thanks in advance!!! mwah!the first one is my kitchen... or my landlord's kitchen since we're just renting. i've mentioned before that i live in a box here in HK and i'm not kidding. our whole apartment is probably just as big as the kitchen in our old house.  the next is my handwriting. is this what you call longhand? anyway, i wrote down the first part of my all-time fave song, Love Moves by Julia Fordham.  and this is what my other handwriting looks like. yes, i know. i've got the tiniest handwriting. this is an old entry in my journal, months before i joined the world of blogging.  and for the totally random photo, i chose my daughter, anya. here, she's pretending to be a rockstar. i don't know why we bother to buy her toys when she loves playing with cardboards and toilet paper rolls. she creates lots of make-believe stuff with that "junk". in this photo, you'll see her pretend guitar and pretend microphone with a makeshift mic stand. she borrows her dad's mp3 player and rocks away!  that's it!!! have a nice weekend everyone. i'll visit y'all later! mwah! -prescribed by- @5:34 PM -30 came for therapy session-
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Spread the Word
first of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SISTER-IN-LAW!!! happy birthday ate vance! ano regalo sayo ni kuya? sabihin mo sa kanya, wag syang kuripot today. ehehehe!!! ingat kayo!!! mwah!
****************************************** i've noticed lately that a lot of my blogfriends are a bit down in the dumps... and so am i. i truly think that september sucks this year (as well as last year). i can't wait for october. but anyway, one thing that gets me going is focusing on the positive... like thinking about stuff that went my way today instead of the areas where i totally failed. for example, my bit of good news is that i've slept like a baby for the past two nights. no insomnia whatsoever. as a result, i'm not as cranky and bitchy... and a few more nights of deep slumber might just shape me back to normal. now, your turn. tell me something good that's happened to you today... -prescribed by- @7:27 PM -17 came for therapy session-
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
I've Been Bad
 it's Bad Fashion this week. i wasn't planning on playing 'coz i'm running out of pictures already (hehehe...) but it seems that a lot of us are suffering from the september blahs, so here... let's all have a good laugh.check out my Don Johnson look. i was in 3rd/4th grade in this photo. it's really not something i would wear, let's say, shopping... we had an event at school that day and i had a dance performance, hence, the outfit. i believe, the song we danced to was "Lost In Emotion" by Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam.  now this one isn't all that bad... unless one was planning to join the convent afterwards. this photo was taken on xmas eve '95 and it looked like i was going to a funeral... and apparently, no one told me that one should never wear a light-colored bra when wearing a black dress.  below is a repost... i posted this last May and it fits so well with today's WBW. i titled it, "I'm Cool and I Have The Picture To Prove It". i was going through some old photos the other day and came across this:  now that you've stopped laughing your heads off... i was 13 years old that time and actually thought that i was pretty hip that day! or else i wouldn't have had that picture taken! i know you can't really see it, but one side of the shades is colored HOT PINK! remember the early 90's when NEON seems to be the coolest colors?!! (i know for a fact that Tee had some awesome photos in response to this one...) well, now that you've all peed in your pants, head on over to Mama Duck and check out the other "cool" photos. -prescribed by- @1:47 PM -19 came for therapy session-
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Blah
first off, please, please visit Adventures In Cyberia and have a good laugh. check out what's Bud Buckley Bloggeroo up to now...
 ... and also check out Diana's latest escapade.  ***************************************** as of the moment, i'm trying to get things back to normal. i still wasn't able to sleep last night but i already enlisted my hubby's help. he's volunteered to sleep on the sofa in case his loud snoring keeps me from getting a decent shuteye. it's sometimes hard to "regroup" when there are people depending on you. hubby told me last weekend that if i ever left the two of them to fend for themselves, they'd be lost... oh, and it's not the "awwww" kind of sappy, sweet sentiment. what he actually said was that i hold the imaginary whip around here and that's what's motivating them to move. he even made the "wuh-pish!" sound... funny guy... now, excuse me... i need to whip some butts. there are dishes that needs to be washed! -prescribed by- @7:16 PM -15 came for therapy session-
Monday, September 12, 2005
Boo-Boo
 and this is why i should never attempt to be the ultimate domestic goddess that i'm not when i could easily have someone do it for me instead! someone should have warned me that ironing in my out-of-whack state (while watching FRIENDS) can be harmful to my precious, moisturized skin. what was i thinking? bah! that "housewife" hormone must be kicking in!anyway... before i clumsily branded myself, we "surprised" a friend with an advanced birthday dinner party at Fat Angelo's at Soho last saturday... only the "surprisee" got there ahead of us, so it wasn't much of a surprise. hehe... anya kept showing her gold shoes to everyone, which by the way, she insisted on wearing herself. (the birthday girl, C, is 2nd from the right)   then, on Sunday, we woke up early to go to mass... it was also anya's first day in sunday school. the sunday school is looking for volunteers and i'm still trying to decide if i should commit to it. all part of the "expanding my world"... if i wasn't so unhinged right now, i might have volunteered immediately... but in my current state, i'm too cynical and sarcastic at the moment. tell me, where can you buy patience? -prescribed by- @5:55 PM -20 came for therapy session-
Friday, September 09, 2005
Out of Whack
lately, i feel as if i'm out of whack, out of sorts, unhinged, screwed up... you name it. my insomnia is getting worse and i refuse to take any medication for it 'coz my body just can't handle another pharmaceutical product in its system!
i'm easily frustrated, easily overwhelmed, easily angered... equally guilty because my husband and daughter are feeling the brunt of it. anya's school is not helping matters either... she finally got her books yesterday after hubby got a phone call from them where they apologized and said that children SHOULD REALLY have their own books because it's the proper way to learn, blah, blah, effing blah. i spent all night putting plastic covers on all her books and exercise books... my back was in agony by the end of it. when i finished and prepared to go to bed, it was actually time to wake anya up for school. anya came home today with three more notices, one of them for SUPPLEMENTARY books and, yes, they need us to pay for it again. i wouldn't mind so much if it's like, "ok, i've got a few dollars in my pocket. problem solved."... no, it's like, "ok, we have to cut down on groceries so we can pay for these effing books!" i remember being in first grade... and i don't remember bringing home notices every other day to my parents asking them for yet another school fee. we are not rich... we are not well-off. hong kong is a very expensive place to live in... and right now, i'm sick of it. gawd. it's friday and i'm moping... september is NOT my favorite month of the year. last year, i felt down and out around the same time... what is it with this time of the year? -prescribed by- @6:24 PM -18 came for therapy session-
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Genie in an Anya
 overheard a conversation between my daughter, anya, and her father... anya: daddy, i am a genie. tell me your wish and i will grant it. daddy: okay... i wish for more money! anya: i will grant your wish! i am giving you more work so you will be paid more! ah... just like a genie... there's always a catch! -prescribed by- @6:42 PM -14 came for therapy session-
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Gimme a W! Gimme a B! Gimme a W!
... what do you get?
 okay, this wednesday is all about school spirit... all those after school activities. well, in my school, we didn't have sport teams... any sport. we also didn't have cheerleaders... there were no teams to cheer on. hehehehe...  what we did in our school... well, we sang... a lot. our school choir was legendary. we won regionals, nationals... we were also the church choir, we were invited to sing for conventions and stuff, we got to travel. we were pretty popular, not just in our school. to be a member of the choir means you're in the top tier of the popularity cake. of course... i was a member. it was fun being in the choir. we got a lot of perks... one of them is a guarantee that you won't get a failing grade in your report card. you see, the choir isn't just an after school activity. we had to be excused from classes so we could rehearse. when competition is a month away, it becomes an after-lunch activity, then becomes an after-morning prayer activity, and extends till the weekends... yes, saturdays and sundays.but, i was the queen of extra-curricular activities. i was in the student council, i was president of the Media Club, was a member of the school paper, eventually becoming the editor-in-chief senior year. we also had various religious groups... one of the best was what we called the Salesian Youth Movement Leaders.  (note: i am not responsible for that outfit. blame it on our teachers.) i remember attending a lot of meetings and "reflection" sessions... and yes... we sang a lot, too.;) now, go say hi to Mama Duck who came up with WBW! -prescribed by- @6:25 PM -26 came for therapy session-
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
BAH!
I'M SO FURIOUS RIGHT NOW!!!
I'M SO ANGRY THAT I'M ITCHING TO LASH OUT AT SOMEONE... SO GOD HELP ME, I'M GONNA WRING SOMEONE'S NECK!!! it's already anya's fourth day in school and she still doesn't have her books. last july, we already paid "some amount" for her books. then today, we got a notice that we should pay "more amount" for her textbooks... this is after we've paid other fees, such as exercise books, annual fee, school bus, lunch fee, dental fee... now, anya tells me that she's the only one without books! all of her classmates have books! her teacher have called us thursday and friday to explain other several notices and fees and reply slips that were required. the subject of TEXTBOOKS weren't even brought up. so, we called the school earlier to ask why we need to pay AGAIN for textbooks. well, some dimwit forgot to inform us that the amount we paid last july was just an initial payment and that the whole textbook package actually costs more. OKAY!!! how come nobody told us this little info during the parents' orientation last month or even LAST THURSDAY OR FRIDAY when they called about the other notices?!!! as anya was the only one without books, didn't it occur to them to ask us WHY?!! or hello?! how come you're not yet paid?!! couldn't they have informed us about this LAST JULY during REGISTRATION??! i mean, they could have easily said that that was just a downpayment! i would have opted to pay full price back then so that we're not bombarded with fees anymore!!! and surprise, surprise, i'm under attack from the COALITION OF SCHOOL FEES DETERMINED TO EMPTY YOUR BANK ACCOUNT!!!!!! and to think i was singing their praises last month about their efficiency!!! BAH! -prescribed by- @6:57 PM -24 came for therapy session-
Monday, September 05, 2005
A Maui Mama and A Meme
 hey guys! guess who's been SIM-ified? it's Sandy of Maui Mama. check out her story here.***************************** i was tagged with this meme by Melissa and True Jersey Girl. so here goes: 7 things I plan to do before I die 1) Swim with the dolphins 2) Get published 3) Meet my great-grandchildren with hubby 4) watch Oprah in person 5) Go on a cruise 6) Be financially secure 7) Have peace of mind 7 things I can do 1) Write poetry 2) Turn my husband into a domestic engineer 3) Tinker with electronics and actually get it right 4) Read my husband's mind and action... or he's just really that transparent 5) Cook a mean chicken and pork adobo 6) Write some more 7) Be good in karaoke 7 things I cannot do 1) Ride a bike 2) any form of skating or blading 3) sit quietly if someone attacks me or my family 4) artsy-crafty stuff 5) Fix a car 6) Not play SIMS 2 for more than two days 7) Abandon my husband and daughter 7 things that attract me to the opposite sex 1) Eyes 2) Smile 3) Voice 4) Sense of humor 5) Intelligence 6) Being romantic 7) answers to the name of Hugh Jackman and played Wolverine and Van Helsing 7 things that I say most often 1) dear Lord! 2) ay puta! (filipino swear word) 3) OMG! 4) give me a break! 5) WTF?! 6) tanginamo! (again, filipino swear words said very fast) 7) please get my... (yes, i'm lazy and my husband aims to please;)) 7 celebrity crushes 1) Hugh Jackman (putting it mildly) 2) Heath Ledger 3) Wentworth Miller 4) Ty Pennington 5) Orlando Bloom 6) Bradley Cooper 7) Adam Brody 7 people I want to do this (if you have not done so already): anyone who wants to do this... -prescribed by- @2:16 AM -13 came for therapy session-
Saturday, September 03, 2005
The Next Chapter
a year ago, i posted my first ever entry. it was just a few months after i moved to Hong Kong and the adjustment just wasn't as easy as i thought it would be. i was already suffering from a mild depression... and i felt even more bereft and lost.
adrift. not a lot has gone on since that post, physically... externally. however, i do sense the change within me. writing has always been my medicine... i still wonder why it took me so long to pick up the pen again. this blog has undergone so many design changes... most probably reflecting my quest for an identity of my own... a "skin" i am comfortable with... i told my husband a few nights ago that i skipped a phase in my life. from child to high school to college to mother. it was a phase where i needed to define who i really am... so when i stopped being the mother for a moment, stopped being the wife, stopped being the daughter and sister, i was left with nothing. i would literally stare into space wondering where my life went. i felt that i was living a life not my own. as the months passed... after discovering and meeting wonderful people through blogging, i started learning a beautiful lesson. that i am not alone. someone understands how it is to suffer from asthma. someone understands how it is to be hurt and heartbroken. someone understands how it is to be lost. with a breath of relief, i felt myself healing. i learned to trust and stopped being bitter. everyday, i learn to love that person staring back at me in the mirror... everyday, i learn to be thankful. as for my search for an identity... it's a learning process. i am xtessa... i am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a friend, a writer, a child of God. this quest will never end... ... because everyday, i grow. and so do you. -prescribed by- @7:15 PM -16 came for therapy session-
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Back To School
do you hear that?
that's the sound of morning silence... morning stillness. bliss. my daughter started 1st grade today and i have the place all to myself. no responsibilities for a few hours... no Spongebob Squarepants or Teen Titans blaring from the TV... no "when's lunch? when's lunch, when's lunch?" and no "i don't want lunch, i don't want lunch, i don't want lunch!"... no tiny head peering over my shoulder asking why are there aliens in Cyberia... no little dependent girl interrupting my thoughts as i try to write it down... no little girl coming into the room to give me a hug... no "thank you, mommy! you're the best" while i cook lunch... no one whispering, "i love you, mommy" as i stare into space, bored out of my wits.  gawd, i miss that little girl. when does she come home?! do you hear that? that's the sound of a piece of my heart breaking away... this is the beginning of the end of "mommy and me" era. from now on, her world gets a little bigger, beyond this apartment walls. she will have a part of her life that mommy isn't a part of... she is starting to grow on her own... oops. another piece breaking away... |
 
i'm a twenty-something dreamer and wannabe writer. currently living in Hong Kong
with the husband, the daughter and the dog.
for more illuminating tidbits about me, click here! if you want to read some of my deepest, darkest thoughts, click here! *xtessa feels  !*
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