To you...

thank you for breaking me. thank you for showing me a world that is not perfect. thank you for deeming me worthless, thus making me question my self-worth. thank you for making me feel hopelessness, giving me a want to end my life.

you did me a big favor. with everything you did and with everything that passed between us, i have learned not to take myself and my life for granted. you broke my spirit and sent me spiraling down to my lowest, you inadvertently taught me that my lowest is not the end of the world. realizing this, every fulfillment and achievement, big or small, i see now as a radiant blessing, like rain kissing the earth after a long spell of dryness.

you took away my innocence, thus taking away my ignorance. i have then learned to be guarded, avoiding mistakes naivete accompanies. i have weathered your storm and i remain standing. i now look in the mirror and see a strong woman, formidable and steadfast in its stance.

you never gave me a chance and that urged me to better myself. i still may be insignificant to you, but i now have an awareness, a kindness and humility that my seventeen-year-old self couldn't have earned otherwise. i no longer need to satisfy you, you taught me acceptance. i may never be good enough for you, but i am learning to accept myself as is... bruises, scars and beauty within.

you broke my heart and my spirit. for years, i have lived in misery and discontent. i never believed that i could truly heal. that was until today, when i offer you my gratitude. all this time, i was giving you my loathing, my anger, my hatred... then my indifference and, finally, my apologies. none was giving me the closure i needed. i finally realized that i have to end it within myself. i could not force you to do what you haven't learned yet.

you pushed me to the edge of my cliff and gave me no choice but to take that leap. i considered giving up and plunging down. it seemed so much easier, it was an option better than living with the pain you brought into my life. with darkness surrounding me, i was forced to look for light in me... my faith, which i thought i have lost.

believing in something bigger than me has set me free. God still has a plan for me and who am i to get in His way?

falling is no longer an option and that leaves one thing: learning to fly.

i am letting go of you now. you can no longer hurt me. i am done living with your shadows, there are no more monsters chasing me. i can look at myself now and marvel at how far i've come and how much more i can offer. with all that you've done to me, i learned lessons no book can teach me. i have since learned to regard myself as worthy and capable, reveling in every moment i breathe. i now know that no matter how much material things i gain, nothing is as priceless as my peace of mind and soul.

for that, i thank you. i am taking flight.

-prescribed by-

@5:22 AM

-0 came for therapy session-